‘My late father’s partner is pilfering his belongings – but he left them all to me’

Dear Amy,

This is a sad situation for all of you, having each suffered the loss of a significant person in your lives.

It is additionally sad that your father went to the trouble of planning how he should provide for you all in his will, yet his wishes are seemingly now being disregarded by one party. I imagine you are not only sad, but a little angry that his partner is putting you in this awkward position.

It is awkward for you, being both an executor and a beneficiary of the will. As executor you have a legal hat to wear, which compels you to protect the estate. As a beneficiary, you can see your assets going walkies.

On the face of it, the law is on your side. Your father’s partner should not be taking items which now belong to you and your brother, and this situation should be addressed. But first, you do need to get your facts straight.

The key document is your dad’s will. You should review this to ensure your interpretation is correct.

When drafting a clause about a “life interest” in a residence, thought should be given to both the dwelling itself (what lawyers call “real property”) and the contents (sometimes referred to in a will as “household goods and chattels”, and what lawyers call “personal property”).

You say the will distinguishes between a life interest in the real property, only for your dad’s partner (with you and your brother as the so-called “remaindermen” who inherit after the life interest ends) and all the personal property which passes to you and your brother immediately.

That is logical, in that your father’s partner has her own house so presumably has her own household goods and chattels there. But it is worth checking the precise wording of the will to be totally sure.

Connected to this, what is happening may be an outcome of your father’s partner misunderstanding the will. She may think her life interest includes the personal property therein. Either way, the personal property is not hers to take, and you are quite right to ask where it is and seek to secure it.

The exception is any household goods and chattels which your dad’s partner can prove were bought jointly by them, or indeed by her solely.

She does have an argument to say she has inherited any jointly purchased items, as usually they do pass to the surviving joint owner – unless there has been a severance of joint ownership, which is highly unusual in personal property. And if she can produce a receipt to show she bought an item herself, then it has always been hers.

A tricky area may be items she bought your dad and gifted to him. These items were his at death, and so do pass under his will and not back to the donor of the gift.

Please understand I am not encouraging litigation. I am promoting a polite but firm assertion of the correct interpretation of the will and lifetime transactions.

I would also encourage you and your brother to remove any items which are of sentimental value from the house sooner rather than later, as well as anything of significant monetary value.

Whether you eventually leave anything there for your father’s partner to use – such as sofas, beds, white goods, TV, etc – is up to you and your brother. As per the will, they are now your things and so you could remove them.

But you may wish to help her feel comfortable, and offering that may help maintain civilised relations. I guess it very much depends on how your conversation goes, but subject to checking the wording in the will, the default is in law you may now take whatever you want – indeed, everything if desired.

If you agree to leave anything behind in the house, take comprehensive images to serve as an inventory, to be agreed and signed. Also make sure it is understood that anything left is as a favour and you are under no legal obligation to replace items that break down or wear out in the future.

A clause in a will granting a life interest would normally impose an obligation on the life tenant to keep the house in good repair. You should politely remind your father’s partner of this, and that as executors and trustees of the will you and your  brother are entitled – upon giving notice – to inspect the house and ensure these obligations are being adhered to. This will also let you in to see what items are still there and what you want to take.

This could be a difficult conversation, but it must be had. Hopefully you will agree on a way forward and then follow it up with an email summarising what was said to serve as “minutes” of the meeting. Ideally, you should then get them signed as a true record by all three of you.

What you want to achieve is your father’s partner having a clear understanding of what she can and cannot do – and, indeed, what she must do. Keep it friendly if you can. But keep it business-like and firm, as well.

Email your legal questions to Gary: askalawyer@telegraph.co.uk