Michael Deacon

Michael Deacon

Columnist & Assistant Editor

Michael Deacon writes the satirical "Way of the World" column twice a week (published at 7am every Tuesday and Saturday), plus a weekly Features column. For 10 years he reported from the Commons as the Telegraph's parliamentary sketch writer. He has previously been a TV columnist and restaurant critic. You can find him on Twitter @MichaelPDeacon

The shoplifting epidemic is a sign that Britain is on the verge of anarchy

Overwhelmingly, the people behind this aren’t stealing to survive; they’re members of highly organised gangs – and staff are terrified

Michael Deacon 7 Sep 2023, 8:00am

Don’t blame Meghan for going out without Harry – midlife men are happy to be left at home

Us boring middle-aged dads would far sooner stay in to watch a documentary about grouting on UKTV Sheds, and we don’t care who knows it

Michael Deacon 6 Sep 2023, 7:00pm
Danny Cipriani had sex with three women a day. It must have been hell

I mean it. A love life like that may sound enviable. But in practice it would be a logistical nightmare

Michael Deacon 5 Sep 2023, 7:00am
Beware, Tory radicals – Rory Stewart is on the warpath

4/5

In his memoir Politics on the Edge, the decidedly heterodox ex-MP takes up arms against Westminster and leaders from Johnson to Truss

By Michael Deacon 3 Sep 2023, 9:21am

The real lesson from the RSPB’s anti-Tory outburst

If employers want to avoid PR disasters on social media, I’ve got a simple solution. But millennials aren’t going to like it

Michael Deacon 2 Sep 2023, 7:00am
Cancelling Graham Linehan proves that the word ‘inclusive’ has lost all meaning

Anyone who dares to disagree with hardline trans activists risks being excluded from public life

Michael Deacon 19 Aug 2023, 7:00am
Labour’s obsession with virtue-signalling is a disaster for Wales

The Welsh government is flying flags for the 'aromantic community', but why isn't it prioritising a decent health service?

Michael Deacon 17 Aug 2023, 10:47am
An ‘anti-stress’ patch, Meghan? I didn’t realise life in a mansion with a prince was so hard

Maybe it’s the cost of living crisis, maybe she just likes the gadget... or maybe there’s a grander plan in action

Michael Deacon 16 Aug 2023, 6:10pm
Liberals are oblivious to their hypocrisy over the Channel migrant crisis

Whenever anyone says migrants should stay in France, British centrists are furious. But logically they should agree

Michael Deacon 15 Aug 2023, 7:00am
The real reason politicians lie to us

A senior Labour figure says MPs must be more honest. There’s just one small problem

Michael Deacon 12 Aug 2023, 7:00am

Anyone who’s disagreeing with Lee Anderson is missing his point on migrants

The Conservative party's deputy chairman wasn’t saying they should return to countries blighted by war – only liberal, safe France

Michael Deacon 9 Aug 2023, 2:05pm
Politicians beware: Britain is a nation of Net Zero Nimbys

Polls suggest that voters overwhelmingly support action on climate change. Well, as long as it doesn’t cost us anything…

Michael Deacon 8 Aug 2023, 7:00am
Here is Chris Bryant’s plan to clean up Parliament – it may baffle you

3/5

The MP’s new book, Code of Conduct, is both topical and already out-of-date, and its anti-sleaze prescriptions leave much to be desired

By Michael Deacon 7 Aug 2023, 7:00am
Making an innocent man pay for his own imprisonment would be an utter crime

Andrew Malkinson spent 17 years in jail for something he didn’t do. Are we seriously going to punish him further?

Michael Deacon 29 Jul 2023, 7:00am
Let the nightmare in Japan be a warning to childless millennials

Last year, Japan’s population plummeted by almost a million – and the way things are going, Britain will soon be in the same position

Michael Deacon 27 Jul 2023, 11:40am
Family holidays are up in smoke – and it’s the maddest panic since lockdown

A sudden and unprecedented emergency, with the public demanding answers and no one in power able to supply them? It all feels very familiar

Michael Deacon 26 Jul 2023, 6:34pm
The worst thing about the woke banking scandal is the hypocrisy of Nigel Farage’s foes

Imagine banks were cancelling the accounts of progressive politicians. How do we think the Left would react?

Michael Deacon 25 Jul 2023, 7:00am
Labour’s new MP highlights the hypocrisy of the Left

If Charlotte Owen is too young and inexperienced to take a seat in Parliament, why isn’t Keir Mather?

Michael Deacon 22 Jul 2023, 7:00am
Starmer’s ridiculous behaviour almost makes me feel sorry for Jeremy Corbyn

He’s always sold himself as Mr Integrity, but his head-spinning U-turns suggest otherwise

Michael Deacon 20 Jul 2023, 10:00am
Even the most rabid Remainer should take Nigel Farage’s side against Coutts

Coutts’ decision to close the former Ukip leader’s account because he didn’t align with its values has grave implications for us all

Michael Deacon 19 Jul 2023, 6:22pm
Forget cluster bombs. Let’s send Ukraine a supply of avant-garde poetry instead

A letter in the Guardian proposes an unusual way to end the war. But I’m not sure Zelensky will like it

Michael Deacon 18 Jul 2023, 7:00am
Carol Vorderman’s hatred of Tories has turned her into a raging snob

Belittling Johnny Mercer and his wife for not going to university is sneeringly elitist

Michael Deacon 15 Jul 2023, 7:00am